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LGBTQ Paths to Parentage Security

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LGBTQ Paths to Parentage Security

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What is Parentage?

Parentage is the term for the legal relationship between a child and their parent or parents, through which all rights and responsibilities flow. Being recognized as a legal parent is important for making medical or school decisions for your child, for access to health insurance, social security survivor benefits, and inheritance, and for custody and parenting time determinations if the parents separate. A secure parent-child relationship is essential for a child’s health, well-being, and development.

A secure parent-child relationship is essential for a child’s health, well-being, and development.

Is it important to get a court judgment reflecting that I am a parent?

Yes! LGBTQ parents, like all parents, start their families in many ways. Regardless of your path to parentage, security for children is a key concern. Since the 2015 Obergefell decision, which ensured marriage equality throughout the country, LGBTQ parents have greater access to the protections of legal parentage through the marital presumption of parentage (see below) and wider access to adoption. However, all LGBTQ parents, married and unmarried, should understand the parentage rules in your state and ensure your child is protected under those rules.

Many LGBTQ parents are parents to children born through assisted reproduction, with one parent being a non-genetic parent. For these families, because of bias and discrimination, it is important to have the security of a court judgment to protect the child-parent relationship. A court judgment will be recognized in all states under full faith and credit principles of the U.S. Constitution. LGBTQ parents can face a lot of hoops to build their families and protect them, and that can feel unfair. Still, a judgment will ensure that the child-parent relationship will be respected and recognized in every state.

LGBTQ parents can face a lot of hoops to build their families and protect them, and that can feel unfair. Still, it is important to get a judgment to ensure that the child- parent relationship will be respected and recognized in every state.

A court judgment will be recognized in all states under full faith and credit principles of the U.S. Constitution.

What if I am already on my child’s birth certificate?

Birth certificates are important records, but while they reflect parentage, they do not by themselves legally establish parentage.

Because of outdated laws and discrimination, relying only on a birth certificate can leave the critically important parent-child relationship vulnerable.

An adoption, court judgment, or equivalent of a court judgment is proof of legal parentage that must be recognized in all states.

  • While the U.S. Supreme Court decisions in Obergefell and Pavan make it clear that a child of married parents must have both parents—including the non-genetic or non-gestational parent—placed on their child’s birth certificate, the current extremist Court—specifically Justice Thomas—has hinted that the federal right to marriage equality could be vulnerable to future challenges.
  • For heterosexual couples, all states presume any children born during a marriage to be children of both spouses. This presumption should extend to same-sex couples after the U.S. Supreme Court decisions in Obergefell and Pavan, but there have been some concerning recent developments in certain states:
    • A few state trial courts have ruled that non-genetic or non-gestational parents of children born into marriages are not legal parents and should not be recorded as legal parents on their birth certificates.
    • Additionally, not all states have laws that clearly set out paths to parentage for families formed via assisted reproduction.
  • For unmarried parents, some states recognize non-genetic or non-gestational parents who consent to their partner’s assisted reproduction and/or who “hold out” the child to be their own, but their parentage may not be recognized by other states without taking one of the additional steps below.

What options do I have to get a court judgment recognizing my child-parent relationship?

Adoption

  • Confirmatory Adoption: A simple adoption process created by statute in a number of states to confirm, not establish, the parentage of those who are already legal parents under state law and allow them to obtain an adoption decree.
  • Stepparent Adoption: An adoption process available in every state since marriage equality became recognized across the country, but which requires a couple to be married. While a traditional “stepparent” is someone who marries a parent after the child is born, the process of stepparent adoption is available in every state to married same-sex couples, including couples who planned together to build their family.
  • Co-parent adoption: An adoption process available in some states to parents of any marital status. (These are sometimes called second-parent adoptions.)

As with any type of adoption, all the above adoptions are filed after a child is born. The requirements of an adoption vary depending on your state, but co-parent and stepparent adoptions can require a home study, criminal record check, notice to any potential other interested parties, and a waiting period. They may take months to complete, leaving a child without the security of two legal parents in the meantime. Confirmatory adoption processes, however, can happen more quickly.

Court Order of Parentage

  • Judgment of Parentage: Court judgments that may be sought in some states before or after a child’s birth to secure a non-genetic or non-gestational parent’s legal parentage. A judgment of parentage is often available in the context of a child born through assisted reproduction or surrogacy.
  • Voluntary Acknowledgment of Parentage (VAP)/Acknowledgment of Parentage: Simple, free forms to establish parentage that may be completed at the hospital immediately after a child’s birth (or later). All states are required by federal law to offer an acknowledgment process, but they have traditionally been used when a woman gives birth and a man to whom she is not married attests (with her permission) to being the parent of the child. As of April 2024, 11 states have expanded access to VAPs to include more types of families, including LGBTQ parents. A new Michigan law will expand access to VAPs as of March 2025, bringing the total to 12 states. A VAP is the equivalent of a court decree of parentage and is intended to receive full faith and credit in all states, although VAPs have not yet been tested in courts for LGBTQ parents. (Visit GLAD Law’s FAQ: Voluntary Acknowledgment of Parentage for an up-to-date listing of states and links to their specific requirements.)

What if my family is formed through surrogacy?

Surrogacy laws vary across the country. Some states provide detailed guidance about the parentage of children born through surrogacy; others have no statutes governing surrogacy, and one highly restricts surrogacy. A number of states have updated their laws recently to better protect all participants in the surrogacy process: the child, intended parents, and the person acting as a surrogate. These statutes allow the intended parents of children born through surrogacy to establish their parentage, regardless of the marital status or genetic connection of those intended parents. They also include provisions to protect the person acting as a surrogate, for example, by requiring that the intended parents pay for pregnancy-related healthcare and independent legal counsel and ensuring the person acting as a surrogate gets to make all health and welfare decisions about themselves and the pregnancy.  Surrogacy is an important path to family building for some families, and it’s important to consult with an assisted reproduction lawyer in your state for guidance in this process.  

Do I need a lawyer?

No matter how your family began, consulting with a lawyer familiar with the establishment of parentage and LGBTQ families in your state can be very helpful to protecting your family. You may be able to do a consultation, or you may want to hire a lawyer to help you throughout the process. Regardless, it is important to consult with a reputable lawyer to understand the local rules so that you can comply with them and protect your child.

Where can I find a lawyer?

The National LGBTQ+ Bar Association maintains a Family Law Attorney Directory of experienced LGBTQ family law practitioners. Additionally, several major LGBTQ legal organizations offer helplines that can address questions, provide attorney referrals, and direct you further:

Where can I find more information?

Download a PDF version of this page

Identity Document Updates for Transgender People

Identity Document Updates for Transgender People: Current Considerations 

As of July 17, 2025 

Background and Context 

The practical impacts of the January 20 so-called “gender ideology” executive order are evolving. GLAD Law, along with our partner organizations, is working to answer questions as best we can as we learn more.

Following a January 2025 executive order from President Donald Trump barring people from updating the sex designation on their passports, the ACLU filed a federal lawsuit challenging the State Department’s refusal to issue passports with accurate sex designations on behalf of seven transgender, nonbinary, and intersex people. On June 17, 2025, a federal court temporarily blocked the order, allowing many transgender, nonbinary, and intersex people to receive passports with accurate sex markers while this litigation is pending.

Get more information about the status of Orr v. Trump here.

Transgender and nonbinary people are integral members of our communities – serving as judges, teachers, doctors, first responders, and countless other vital roles. They are beloved members of our families.  This fundamental reality won’t change. These orders don’t alter the essential contributions and presence of transgender and nonbinary people throughout society.  

Federal ID Documents Questions and Answers 

The following Q&A provides general information about federal identity documents at this time. For many people individualized decisions will need to be made. Please contact GLAD Law Answers for questions specific to your situation. 

Regarding travel specifically: While the order will likely make things more complicated, there have been no directives suggesting people with IDs that don’t match their presentation won’t be able to travel. That said, we know that having nonconforming IDs can lead to additional scrutiny and potential mistreatment by TSA and other agencies – issues that many transgender and nonbinary people already navigate.  

Advocates for Trans Equality has a Know Your Rights: Airport Security Guide with additional information.  

What did the court order in the ACLU’s case Orr v. Trump on June 17 do? 

On June 17, 2025, the U.S. District Court of Massachusetts ordered that the State Department must allow people with a gender identity different from their sex assigned at birth to self-select the sex designation on their passport while the ACLU’s Orr v. Trump case proceeds.  

Learn more about Orr v. Trump. 

Does the court order apply to me? 

The court certified two classes: the M/F Designation Class and the X Designation Class. 

The M/F Designation Class includes all individuals: 

  • Whose gender identity is different from their sex assigned at birth and/or who have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and 
  • Who have applied (or would have applied if not for the Trump administration’s passport policy) for a U.S. passport with an “M” or “F” designation that is different from their sex assigned at birth. 

The X Designation Class includes all individuals: 

  • Whose gender identity is different from their sex assigned at birth and 
  • Who have applied (or would have applied if not for the Trump administration’s passport policy) for a U.S. passport with an “X” designation. 

You can apply for a passport with a sex marker consistent with your gender identity if: 

  1. You are part of the M/F Designation Class or the X Designation Class and 
  1. You either: 
    • Do not have a currently valid passport; 
    • Need to renew your passport because it expires within one year; 
    • Need to change your passport to correct your sex designation or reflect a name change; or 
    • Need to apply for another passport because your passport was lost, stolen, or damaged. 

Do I need to do anything to formally join the class? 

No. If you fit into the descriptions above, you are part of the class. In order to access relief, the State Department requires that you complete an attestation form and submit it with your application to affirm that the preliminary injunction applies to you. 

When does the order go into effect? When can I update the sex designation on my passport? 

The order is in effect now. As of June 17, the State Department is legally required to comply with the court order. On July 2, the State Department issued instructions for class members to access relief pursuant to the Court’s preliminary injunction order. Those instructions can be found here. If you are a class member, you must submit a completed attestation form with your passport application in order to identify yourself as a class member and let the State Department know what sex marker you want on your passport. If you are selecting an “M” or “F” designation, you should select that on the attestation form as well as your application. If you are selecting an “X” designation, you should leave the sex field blank on your application and select “X” on the attestation form. If the State Department receives an application without an attestation and determines that you may be a class member, the State Department will send you a letter requesting the attestation, which must be submitted within 90 days of receiving such notice. 

The State Department requires that you complete an application in-person to obtain a new passport or replace a lost, stolen, or damaged passport. Applications to renew a passport or change information on an existing passport can be mailed in. Whether you are applying in person or by mail, members of the class must complete a PDF version of the application to access relief through the court ordered injunction (due to technical limitations you cannot use the online form filler) and must submit the attestation with your application. 

Can I change my gender on my Consular Report of Birth Abroad?  

Not at this time. The Trump administration has stopped processing changes of gender markers on CRBAs.  

 There is no litigation currently pending about CRBAs but we will update this as things may evolve. 

Does the June 17 decision in Orr v. Trump impact TSA Precheck, Global Entry, or visas? 

No. This decision only impacts the sex designation on passports. 

Can I still change my NAME with Social Security?  

Yes. As of now, one can still change a name on federal documents. 

If one changes their name through a local probate court process, are they then legally required to change their name with the Social Security Administration? 

Online guidance from the Social Security Administration (“SSA”) states that one must change their name with the SSA after changing their name in probate court. We are not aware of any penalties for failing to update with the SSA (for example, it is not one of the listed reporting responsibility items for those receiving Supplemental Security Income), nor are we familiar with any set deadline for updating SSA.  

That said, not having an up-to-date name with the SSA could result in revocation of a driver’s license listing an inconsistent name (see Leone v. Commissioner, Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles, 933 N.E.2d 1244 (2010)), trouble providing a List C document for Form I-9 employment authorization procedures, or a private identity verifier receiving an SSA “no-match letter” when checking your identity for employment or medical purposes. Accordingly, it is suggested that people update their name with the SSA after getting a legal name change in court. 

If one changes their name through a local probate court process, are they then legally required to change their name on their U.S. passport? 

We are not aware of a requirement to reflect a legal name change on a non-expired US passport. U.S. Customs and Border Protection advises that U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents “should carry [certified] proof of their name progression such as… court documents showing a legal name change.”  

Applicants for a new or renewed passport should not falsely use their prior legal name on their application, as the Form DS-11 and Form DS-82 require that “the statements made on the application are true and correct.”  

Trans and nonbinary people have reported increased delays or interrogation when traveling internationally with mismatched IDs. Having the correct and current name on a passport can also be helpful for purposes such as providing a List A document for Form I-9 employment authorization procedures.  

What about my birth certificate? Can I still amend my gender marker on that?  

If you are a U.S. citizen born abroad and have a Consular Report of Birth Abroad, you can no longer change your gender marker on that record.

If you were born in the U.S., state law determines whether you can amend your gender marker. This EO did nothing to change state law. If you can amend under your state laws or rules, you can still amend.   

The Orr v. Trump lawsuit does not directly impact state-issued birth certificates. However, the court order requires the State Department to allow class members (defined above) to self-select M, F, or X on the passport application. In other words, the sex designation on your birth certificate does not have to match the sex designation you are seeking on your passport. 

Is it possible that the State Department requests the Court to put the June 17th order on hold? If so, what would happen to my passport application? 

It is possible that the government could request a “stay” of the Court’s decision. A stay is a temporary suspension of enforcement of a court order. If the government is granted a stay, then this order is essentially put on hold. Given that the government issued instructions by which class members can access the court ordered relief on July 2, 2025, we encourage class members to follow the instructions on the State Department’s website to access that relief as soon as possible. 

What should I do if I need to apply for/renew a Passport or Visa now?    

What should I do if I need to apply for/renew a Passport or Visa now?    

In order to access relief, the State Department requires that you complete an attestation form and submit it with your application to affirm that the preliminary injunction applies to you. 

If you apply for a new Passport or a renewal, as with any Passport process, the agency may retain your documents for some time. Please make sure to keep certified copies of any identity documents you submit so that you have valid identification during the application process. 

What if I already have a Passport with a gender marker different from my sex at birth, including an X gender marker?  

The order doesn’t specifically address existing passports. Until new policies are announced, previously issued documents should remain valid through their expiration dates.  

 The matters are currently being litigated and there may well be changes coming in the future. We will continue to monitor developments around this order closely and will update this document as we learn more information. We have no indication that people are unable to travel with these documents or with federal documents that may be inconsistent with state documents. 

If I have an X gender marker or gender marker that does not conform to my sex at birth on my Passport or driver’s license/ID card, can the TSA prevent me from flying?   

Nothing in the executive order suggests people with nonconforming gender markers on valid documents should be turned away from a flight. GLAD Law is monitoring developments around this order closely and will update this document as we learn more information. 

If I have a gender marker on my Passport or driver’s license/ID card that does not conform to my sex at birth, can my gender expression be used by the TSA to prevent me from flying?

Nothing in the executive order suggests people with nonconforming gender markers on valid documents should be turned away from a flight. GLAD Law is monitoring developments around this order closely and will update this document as we learn more information.   

 If I have identity documents that conform to my gender identity, should I change them to conform to my sex at birth?   

GLAD Law is closely tracking developments, and we are not able to provide insights into this at this time. People should make individual assessments of best next steps for them and as we learn more about how federal policy is being changed to conform to the administration’s directives, we will share more.  

Does the EO affect Real IDs? 

REAL IDs are issued by state governments to meet federal security standards for domestic air travel between and within states and access to federal facilities. As of May 7, 2025, you will need a REAL ID or federally accepted document for air travel between and within states.  

The federal government has established consistent requirements for obtaining a REAL ID, so the process is the same across all states. However, each state has its own procedures for how to obtain and update identification documents, including how to change your name and gender marker, and each state differs on whether you can obtain an X marker on state identity documents. 

Of course, things are changing quickly. As of April 25, 2025, the federal government has not changed its REAL ID policies to require states to treat transgender and non-binary people differently. So as of now, if you live in a state that allows for transgender people to have accurate name and gender markers on state identity documents, you can get a REAL ID that is accurate. 

As we know, the federal government no longer allows people to get X markers on Passports or with social security. So, if your state allows you to get a REAL ID with an X marker, we do not yet know if this will flag you for additional screenings or barriers at airports.  

If you encounter issues while traveling with your REAL ID, please let us know by contacting GLAD Law Answers.  

Current Recommendations 

If you’ve been considering updating your identity documents, now may be the right time to update state-level documents like driver’s licenses and birth certificates so you have them should federal policies change. If you are in New England you can find resources for these changes here. For other states, you can find information about pathways to update these documents at LGBT MAP.    

Guideposts for Decision-Making 

Consider these factors when deciding how to proceed: 

  1. Immediate Needs: Assess which documents you use most frequently for employment, healthcare, financial interactions, travel, or other essential activities.
  1. State Residence: 
    • Research your state’s current policies for document updates. A4TE’s ID Documents Center is a good place to start. If you live in New England, you can also visit GLAD Law’s ID Project. 
    • Consider whether you expect to remain in your current state long-term
  1. Timeline Considerations: 
    • Be aware of processing times for different documents 
    • Consider which changes might be most time-sensitive 
    • Factor in any upcoming life changes (moving, job changes, travel) 
  1. Support Network: 
    • Connect with local LGBTQ+ organizations for guidance 
    • Consult with trans-affirming legal resources if available 
    • Consider having a support person help navigate the process 

Remember that these decisions are personal and should be based on your specific circumstances, needs, and comfort level. Consider consulting with transgender competent legal professionals or LGBTQ+ organizations for personalized guidance. Some places to start are GLAD Law Answers, NCLR’s Help Desk, and the National LGBTQ Bar Association 

Transgender Health Care Questions

Transgender Health Care Questions

As of November 18, 2024 

“I’m a transgender adult concerned about potential restrictions on healthcare access. What should I do to prepare?” 

Assessing Your Situation 

While there are legitimate concerns about potential federal restrictions on transgender healthcare access, it’s important to understand that major policy changes typically take time to implement and are likely to face legal challenges. Even if restrictive federal policies are proposed, they would likely face court challenges that could delay and possibly prevent implementation.  

However, given the real possibility of restrictions, especially for youth care, it’s wise to prepare thoughtfully without rushing into decisions. 

Living with this uncertainty can be stressful, but there are concrete steps you can take now that could help.  

Many transgender people have successfully navigated changing healthcare landscapes by being proactive and building strong support networks. Your focus should be on documenting your current care, securing your supply lines for any medications, understanding your insurance coverage, and building a support network of healthcare providers, where and when possible, who can help you navigate potential changes. 

Quick Action Checklist 

Immediate Actions: 

  • Gather all transition-related medical records 
  • Get documentation letters from current providers 
  • Review current medication supplies 
  • Check insurance coverage details 
  • Schedule important pending appointments 
  • Research your state’s specific protections or restrictions on transgender healthcare You can find information about your state by reviewing the Health Care maps here (select Choose an Issue and look for Health Care). 

Short-Term Planning: 

  • Build buffer supply of critical medications, if possible 
  • Establish care with backup providers, if possible 
  • Start healthcare savings fund if able 
  • Join local LGBTQ+ support groups 
  • Document insurance authorizations 
  • Connect with advocacy organizations tracking legal developments, such as GLAD Law, NCLR, AFTE, LGBT Map, ACLU and others. 

Long-Term: 

  • Connect with legal resources to stay abreast of changes in law, insurance, and medication access 
  • Keep building an emergency healthcare fund, if possible 
  • Create provider network in different geographic areas, as needed 
  • Join advocacy organizations 
  • Consider options in states with strong protections, including in states with shield laws 

“I’m a parent of a transgender adolescent. How should we prepare for potential healthcare access changes?” 

Understanding Your Family’s Needs 

There is a real possibility of federal policy changes that could restrict access to transgender health care, particularly for adolescents who receive health care through federally funded programs like Medicaid. Dramatic changes to federal policy under Medicaid and other programs are likely to have to comply with administrative procedures such as public notice and comment periods, and will face legal challenges, The existence of those legal requirements builds in some time before dramatic changes could be in effect. However, it’s prudent to prepare for potential restrictions while avoiding rushed decisions. 

As a parent, you’re balancing multiple considerations – your child’s immediate healthcare needs, their emotional well-being, and long-term planning for their care. Focus on strengthening your current care situation while building backup plans. This means documenting everything thoroughly, understanding your legal rights as a parent, and creating strong relationships with your child’s healthcare team. It’s especially important to understand your state’s specific protections and/or barriers for transgender adolescent health care, as these may provide important safeguards or barriers regardless of federal policy changes.   

Family Action Checklist 

Medical Documentation: 

  • Gather all pediatric records and assessments 
  • Document current treatment plans 
  • Collect provider support letters 
  • Save all insurance authorizations 
  • Record school accommodation plans, if any 
  • Document timeline of care decisions and medical necessity 
  • Consider making a duplicate paper copy in addition to any electronic records 

Legal Preparation: 

  • Document all medical decisions 
  • Research state-specific protections 
  • Maintain communication records 
  • Connect with organizations tracking legal challenges, such as GLAD Law, NCLR, AFTE, LGBT Map, ACLU and others. 

Support System Building: 

  • Join parent support groups 
  • Connect with school counselors or social workers, where appropriate 
  • Find family-friendly LGBTQ+ organizations 
  • Identify backup healthcare providers 
  • Identify legal resources  
  • Research providers in states with strong protections 

Reminder 

While preparing for potential changes is important, it’s important to avoid making rushed decisions out of fear or panic. Changes to federal policy typically take time to implement and are likely to face legal challenges that can delay or prevent enforcement. Focus on taking manageable steps to secure current care while staying informed about legal developments through LGBTQ+ organizations. Keep copies of all important documents in secure locations and maintain connections with healthcare providers and support networks who can help navigate any changes that do occur. 

The goal is to be prepared while remembering that some states have their own protections which should remain in place even if there are federal changes. Stay connected with local LGBTQ+ organizations for updated information about both legal developments and resources for maintaining access to care. 

Digital Safety Guide

GLAD Law Digital Safety Guide

At GLAD Law we know that staying safe online is important, especially for queer and trans folks. Below you will find information and resources on online safety, harassment, and doxing to keep yourself and your organization safe.

Download a PDF of this resource

What steps can I take to protect myself online?

The first thing you should consider is assessing your online presence and making sure you are taking steps to protect your personal and identifying information wherever you can. Everyone is at a different level of risk based on their situation, activities, and background.

Some steps you can take to minimize risk include:

  • Protect your accounts
  • Use strong passwords
  • Utilize a password manager
  • Create a separate email account specifically for password recovery
  • Utilizing two-factor identification for all online accounts
  • Understand the privacy and harassment policies of the sites you use. See Right to Be’s Guide to Privacy and reporting on social media platforms.
  • Limit what you share:
  • Turn off location services (Google and Android, IOS, apps)
  • Turn off all the things that allow people to drop files on your devices, like airdrop (apple) and bluetooth.
  • Remove personal identifying information, such as your address, from digital spaces (social media, LinkedIn, etc.)

You can search for what is available about you online (self-doxing) and take steps to remove what you can. Here are a few examples of sites that you can use:

Spokeo
Anywho.com
Intelius
Whitepages

Doxing (also called doxxing):

What is doxing?

Doxing is the act of revealing someone’s personal information online. The term is derived from “dropping dox” or documents about an adversary. Doxing is a form of online harassment that means publicly exposing someone’s real name, address, job, or other identifying data. Doxing happens without a victim’s consent, with the aim of humiliating or bullying a victim.

If you have been doxed and begin to receive direct threats of violence or experience violence, you are able to request a Harassment Prevention Order (also called Civil Protection Orders or Temporary Restraining Orders).

Read more here:

Is Doxing Illegal?

There are no specific anti-doxing laws in most jurisdictions. Instead, the legality of doxing is determined on a case-by-case basis. While compiling or publishing publicly available information is rarely illegal, there are other crimes that doxers can be charged for. Those crimes include stalking, harassment, identity theft, or incitement to violence.

In the US, the Interstate Communications Statute and the Interstate Stalking Statute may be applied to doxing, depending on the details of a particular case. Doxing could also violate the terms of service for certain websites. For instance, Twitter prohibits posting the private information of another person without their permission.

Read more here: Avast

More information on Harassment Prevention Orders in:

I am being doxed. What can I do?

There are several free, DIY methods to help eliminate or lessen the effects of doxing as well as the amount of personal information that is online.


You can find more information using the resources below.


Another option is paying to have your personal information scrubbed from the internet by a service. Below are two such paid services that can help you scrub personal information online. These are not intended as endorsements, and there are other services available as well. We encourage you to research to find the service that best meets your need and your budget.

Deleteme
Brightlines

How can I protect my organization from online harassment?

Right to Be has a digital how to guide you can find here. And another here.

How can I help stop doxing all together?

Support the Anti-Defamation League’s efforts to disrupt online hate. Volunteer with the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative.

Dealing with doxing is taking a toll on my mental health. What can I do?

The Trevor Project has a 24/7 national hotline for LGTBQ+ people in crisis. For folks living in New England, Fenway Health has a free mental health program for LGBTQ+ people who have or are experiencing violence and harassment. Tips for dealing with the effects of doxing from GoodTherapy can be found here.





Acknowledgements: All of the information in this guide came from the linked sources above. The majority of this information came from Right to Be and can be accessed on their Digital Safety How-To Guide.


Download a PDF of this resource



Resources for New England Parents

Resources for New England Parents

LGBTQ+ Parents: We know you’re worried about the safety and security of your children.  

New England has many protections for LGBTQ+ families.

Here are steps you can take to protect your parent-child relationship, depending on which state you are in and how your family is formed:

  • Sign a voluntary acknowledgment of parentage (VAP)
    • This simple administrative form is available to both married and unmarried LGBTQ+ parents, where one parent gave birth to the child, in Vermont, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Maine. Currently unmarried LGBTQ+ parents in Massachusetts can sign a VAP and married LGBTQ+ parents will be able to do so beginning in January 2025. The VAP forms for these states are linked below. Make sure you contact vital records in your state and execute the VAP form following all instructions, including making sure you have a witness or notary and filing the form with the appropriate authorities.  
  • Seek a co-parent adoption
    • This is available to LGBTQ+ parents in all New England states. It generally involves working with an attorney. Maine, Rhode Island, and New Hampshire also have the option of a confirmatory adoption, which is a streamlined process for LGBTQ+ parents to confirm their parentage. More information is below.
  • Seek a parentage judgment 
    • Court judgments that may be sought in some states before or after a child’s birth to secure a non-genetic or non-gestational parent’s legal parentage. A judgment of parentage is often available in the context of a child born through assisted reproduction or surrogacy.

Further information and resources to support your family are available below.

General

Connecticut 

Maine 

Massachusetts

  • Massachusetts just passed the Massachusetts Parentage Act, which is effective on January 1, 2025
    • Please come to a community webinar on November 13 that will explain this new law. Register today.
  • Right now, unmarried parents of children born through assisted reproduction can sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Parentage (VAP) in the hospital to secure their parent-child relationship
  • Right now, LGBTQ+ parents—married and unmarried—can seek a co-parent adoption of their child in the Probate and Family Court. Co-parent adoption has been available in Massachusetts since 1993 and remains an excellent way to secure parentage. We are working on a resource to explain how to do this. For referrals for lawyers to assist you, contact GLAD Answers. 

New Hampshire

  • New Hampshire has very good protections for LGBTQ+ parents, including parentage through assisted reproduction, surrogacy, and holding out
  • Right now, LGBTQ+ parents—married and unmarried—can seek a co-parent adoption of their child. We are working on a resource to explain how to do this. Contact GLAD Answers to be connected with an attorney who can help you.
  • GLAD Law will be in New Hampshire on December 10 to meet with families about protections. More information will be posted on our website soon.

Rhode Island

Vermont 

News

Maine Legislature Rejects Bills Targeting Transgender Student Athletes

AUGUSTA – The Maine Legislature rejected eight bills on Monday that targeted transgender student athletes, the transgender community and the Maine Human Rights Act. A broad coalition came together to organize in response, including equality organizations, health care providers, legal advocacy groups and everyday Mainers of all ages and backgrounds.

“Thousands of Maine people showed up at the State House, called and emailed their legislators and stood strong against eight different bills that targeted our community,” said Gia Drew, Executive Director of EqualityMaine. “We are grateful for the members of the Maine Legislature who listened and helped to defeat these harmful bills. Our community is resilient, and we want every transgender person in Maine to know that they are loved, that they are not alone, and that we will stand with them.”

The Legislature considered and rejected eight bills:

  • LD 233, An Act to Prohibit Biological Males from Participating in School Athletic Programs and Activities Designed for Females When State Funding is Provided to the School;
  • LD 868, An Act to Ensure Equity and Safety in Athletics, Restrooms, Changing Rooms and Housing at Elementary, Secondary and Postsecondary Schools;
  • LD 1002, An Act to Protect Children’s Identification by Requiring Public Schools to Use the Name and Gender Specified on a Child’s Birth Certificate;
  • LD 1134, An Act to Prohibit Males from Participating in Female Sports or Using Female Facilities; 
  • LD 1704, An Act to Prohibit a School Administrative Unit from Adopting a Policy that Allows a Student to Use a Restroom Designated for Use by the Opposite Sex.
  • LD 1337, An act to Amend Maine Human Rights Act Regarding Female Athletes and Safety in Women’s Single-sex Shelters; 
  • LD 1432, An Act to Remove Consideration of Gender Identity from the Maine Human Rights Act; and 
  • LD 380, An Act to Amend Certain Laws Regarding Gender-affirming Health Care Services

“Maine voters made clear 20 years ago that it’s wrong to discriminate against someone because they are transgender, and the Maine Law Court weighed in in 2014 to affirm that schools must treat transgender students equally, including access to school bathrooms or locker rooms,” said Mary Bonauto, Senior Director of Civil Rights and Legal Strategies, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD Law).

“Let’s be clear – these bills were a direct attack on our rights, our dignity and our lives,” said Bre Danvers Kidman, co-director of MaineTransNet. “Our community rose up, stood shoulder to shoulder with allies across the state and shut them down. Transgender people do not exist to be used as a political wedge issue. Our civil rights are not up for debate. We are not going away. We know who we are, we know what we deserve and we will never stop fighting to live safe, free, and visible in every part of this state.”

More than 900 Maine people testified against efforts to deny trangender students access to health care and ban them from participating in school sports during a public hearing in May. The hearing drew an extraordinary cross-section of our state — parents, educators, fellow students, current and former athletes, faith leaders, and more — all united in defense of dignity, fairness, and inclusion. Their testimony reflected a clear consensus: these attacks do not reflect Maine values and have no place in our laws. 

“Transgender student athletes are being targeted by some of the richest and most powerful men in the world. We are thankful for the tremendous work of our allies in the Legislature who stood up for what is right, and for the members of the trans community who told their stories and demonstrated the harm these terrible bills would have caused,” said Destie Hohman Sprague, Executive Director of the Maine Women’s Lobby.

“Every student should be treated with kindness and respect, and they should be able to attend school and play sports without fear. These bills wouldn’t have just hurt transgender girls, they would have hurt everyone and subjected all Maine girls to invasive procedures that violate personal privacy,” said Sue Campbell, Executive Director of OUT Maine.

The coalition remains united and prepared to respond to future threats to equality and human rights in Maine. As efforts to roll back protections or target vulnerable communities continue to surface across the country, advocates, organizations, and community members across the state stand ready to defend Maine’s values of compassion, courage and humanity.

Defending Voters’ Rights in Maine

Update: LD1149 died in committee in May 2025.

The ability to participate in elections is fundamental. It is of the utmost performance that every person can make their voice heard at the ballot box. However, LD1149 would make it more difficult — and for some people, practically impossible — to vote.

“An Act to Require an Individual to Present Photographic Identification for the Purposes of Voting” is a voter suppression referendum that will keep eligible voters from being able to actively participate in our political process. Among other issues, LD1149 would eliminate ongoing absentee ballots, cut the time period for early absentee voting by two days, impose barriers to the use of secure ballot drop-off boxes, and prevent voters from requesting an absentee ballot over the phone. In addition, LD1149 would require voters to provide photo ID from a restrictive list of acceptable forms of ID every time they vote.

GLAD Law submitted testimony in opposition to LD1149 highlighting the barriers photo ID requirements and restricted absentee voting and early voting will have on all Mainers, especially on transgender voters. Read our testimony to learn more.

GLAD Law is a member of the Save Maine Absentee Voting Coalition, a diverse, nonpartisan group of organizations from across Maine who believe that fair, open, and accessible elections are the cornerstone of our democracy.

Protecting Human Rights and Transgender Youth in Maine

Update: Victory! On June 16, 2025, the Maine Legislature rejected eight bills that targeted transgender student athletes, the transgender community, and the Maine Human Rights Act. Learn more.

Our schools should create a supportive environment where every student can receive an education and participate in school activities.

But several bills have been filed this session that would single out transgender young people for exclusion, roll back nondiscrimination protections, and open the door to harassment and bullying of all Maine girls.

Tell your lawmakers to oppose harmful bills and protect transgender youth and human rights in Maine!

Check out the full advocacy toolkit for more ways to make a difference.

Racially Inclusive Curriculum in Maine

Update: LD1202 and LD1474 have been carried over and will be under consideration during the next legislative session.

For decades, scholars and educators have recognized the value of a “windows and mirrors” approach to teaching, where a school curriculum can serve as a “mirror” reflecting a student’s own background back to them, or as a “window” into other identities and traditions. These window and mirror effects are all the more important when young people have few opportunities to see their lives, culture, and history mirrored back to them or shared with their peers.

GLAD Law submitted testimony in support of LD957, LD1202, and LD1474, bills that will strengthen and further integrate the teaching of Asian American, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander history, African American studies, and Wabanaki studies in Maine schools. GLAD Law’s testimony describes how racially inclusive school curriculum can foster a sense of belonging and community among students, increase educational achievements for all students, and prepare youth with the knowledge they need to participate in our democracy and succeed in an increasingly diverse society.

Education Discrimination Remedies in Maine

Update: LD1647 has been carried over and will be under consideration during the next legislative session.

Unlawful discrimination is extraordinarily harmful for all people, especially students. These harms have a lasting impact that deprives young people of equal opportunities to grow, learn and succeed—and deprives us all of those young people’s unique insights, talents, and contributions.

LD1647, “An Act to Amend the Maine Human Rights Act to Provide Additional Remedies for Educational Discrimination,” would make compensatory damages available for students who can prove they have experienced unlawful educational discrimination. These damages were historically available under federal law until 2022, when the U.S. Supreme Court severely limited remedies. Now, students must rely on the Maine Human Rights Act (MHRA) to protect them. However, the modest civil penalties provided under the MHRA are not enough to cover the costs of litigation or compensate victims for the harms they have suffered.

LD1647 is a common-sense bill that restores the status quo as it existed before 2022 when the damages were available, and in doing so reaffirms Maine’s commitment to building an education system where all students can thrive.

Read the testimony from GLAD Law and the ACLU of Maine to learn more.

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